“You kiss your father good night,” said Hanley. Mark had no idea his dad called him that. “Your father tells me you kiss him every night before you go to bed,” Hanley went on. “I love you” was one phrase Mark hadn’t heard them say. But they were reticent about putting every emotion into words. His mom and dad encouraged all of the children and were generous with hugs and kisses. “You’re such a good kid,” Hanley said, smiling. He had just turned ten when one day Hanley invited him into his bedroom. Mark started out visiting after school or on Saturdays, maybe once or twice a week.
If no response came, you knew to return another time.
When Hanley’s voice boomed down, “Yeah?” you could head up. You inspired me.To visit Father Jim, you first had to ask the housekeeper. I just joined wordpress and over the next month or 2 i’m going to try doing a story myself. I will check here often since I see nifty is not getting updated as much on FSB. All too often parents and others whom the boys look up to and listen to, use the wrong words around them which can make the boy feel that he is not worthy of their love or attention because they say things like, you did bad, or you were bad, instead of clearly sayin the behavior was bad, but he is still a good boy and loved. That when they mess up, what they did was wrong or bad, but they are not bad. That they are loved unconditionally for whom they are, not for how they act or what they do or dont do. To know that they are never too old for a hug or to snuggle or cuddle if that is what they feel they need and want. I was so proud, but explained that fighting is not the answer, and that I was disappointed he did not find another way or tell me about the bully.īoys need positive attention and love. But he had no problem throwing down with a bigger kid if he had to, I had to take a day off because he got into a fight with a 5th grader that was picking on him, and he stood up to him. It sunk in and the boys were very kind and protective of Nicky, whenever he needed it. Some had questions and I just told them that everyone is different and special, and if we accept each other for whom they are, then they and us can all be happier and better friends. The best part was the other boys accepted him for whom he was. He started to outgrow the sissy side when he was getting as much attention and positive reinforcement doing normal boy stuff instead of just as a princess. He loved fishing and roughhousing, and even working on my truck with me, even in the dirt or grease, but he had his princess and even at time sissy side that came out. I think when he was younger he was only told he was pretty and I believe the princess part came from his home life growing up with only his mom, her friend and several older girls. I also told them that clothes do not make the man or boy, its what is inside that matters, and if they like blue, red, pink or purple, it does not change hwo I see them, and if someone does not like them because of their clothes or being emotional, than that person is not a true friend and not to worry about the loss. I told them they coudl just be themselves and I did not care if they were straight, gay, bi or unsure.
That included all the good things and even the bad things that happened. When I did fostercare, I always told my boys that I accepted and loved them for whom they were. Boys or anyone for that matter, should be able to be themselves, freely and accepted and loved for it.